Halloween . . . the one night of the year where kids can be anyone they dream of, adults loosen the rules and have fun, candy is abundant, and it’s ok to try to scare the little ones with ghost stories and scary masks. Not to mention all of us Southern girls get to decorate with pumpkins and fall leaves, drink pumpkin spice lattes, and pull out our winter boots (even though it’s usually about 80 degrees on Halloween here in the South, we wear our boots anyway).

What’s not to love about Halloween?

A lot, if your child has Type 1 Diabetes. The word Halloween strikes fear in my heart for completely different reasons. I’m scared of candy with no nutrition labels, parties with only pretzel sticks and M&Ms, and of course, the blood sugar highs and lows that come with a night of no routine.

Last year was the first Halloween Hugh experienced with Type 1. While I am by no means a veteran (I’m sure moms who have many more years under their belt can tell you much more), I did learn a few lessons that I would like to share. I hope this helps those of you who have children or grandchildren with Type 1, but also hope these tips apply to all parents who want their children to have a safe and happy Halloween.

Tip #1: Be Prepared

I can’t stress enough how important I feel it is to be prepared. Of course, we can’t be prepared for everything that might happen, but a little planning goes a long way. I try to print out or download candy nutritional facts to have on hand for Halloween night. JDRF has a helpful Halloween candy carb count list here.I also try to pack snacks that might be helpful if we experience some blood sugar swings. Cheese sticks and protein paks are great if Hugh’s blood sugar is high and he is craving something to eat. A 15 gram snack is helpful if Hugh is dropping low, but is not in the danger zone yet. Something with peanut butter or cheese is always a great snack. I also pack lots of water for the night. Running from house to house makes all the kids thirsty, but I draw the line at giving Hugh sugary drinks. I usually make him flavored water and every once in a while give him Coke Zero for a special treat (especially if all the other kids are drinking sodas and other fun drinks).
Planning the night’s events with your host is also very helpful. Calling a few days ahead of time to discuss what types of food will be served, what time the kids will trick or treat, etc. is not only helpful to you, but a thoughtful gesture toward your host. She/He might not have everything planned out, but at least they know you will be attending and you have thought about the night’s events. It does take a little bit of extra work to plan ahead and it can be stressful at times, but I always say it is worth it. Hugh doesn’t know the planning that takes place before an event, and he shouldn’t have to. It’s my job as his mom to take care of these things ahead of time so he can have a fun and carefree night!

Tip #2: Offer To Bring Food

There is no better way to ensure there will be something at a party that Hugh can eat than to offer to bring something myself. I usually offer to bring pizza, hot dogs, sandwiches, etc. That way, I know Hugh will be getting some type of substantial food that will keep him full and happy (and I also know the carb count). I ALWAYS bring enough for everyone, not just Hugh. I don’t want him to be singled out as eating something different and we love to share!

Tip #3: Don’t Make it Complicated for Others

Hugh’s Type 1 diabetes is my responsibility, not others. I don’t expect to go to a party and for the host to have everything Hugh needs. Whether it is a church function, private home party, or school activity, I provide what Hugh needs to eat and drink. Of course, many people are thoughtful and ask if there is anything they can provide for Hugh. But, I usually decline and let them know that Hugh can eat most anything the other kids can eat. If he needs anything extra, I bring it.

Tip #4: Trick-or-Treat First

Most kids are eager to start trick-or-treating and I’m ok with letting Hugh trick-or-treat first and eat supper second. The reason I do this is because after Hugh eats his meal, I let him pick two or three pieces of candy for dessert. That way, I can give Hugh the insulin to cover his food and his candy all in one shot.

Tip #5: Have Fun!

Ok, I know this is easy to say, but not always easy to do. But as you are planning for Halloween, try to keep in mind that one night is not going to ruin everything. Hugh might have high blood sugar when he goes to bed, but we correct it and move on. I want Hugh to be a kid and to enjoy this special night with his friends. If that means allowing him to eat a few more pieces of candy, so be it. Halloween only rolls around once a year and I am not going to make it into a night of rules and regulations. Here in the South (and especially in Louisiana), we can turn anything into a party. Just bring together good friends, good food, and a few ghost stories – preferably told in a Cajun accent – and the good times start rolling. Diabetes or not.

Happy Haunting, Ya’ll!

I guess we’re all afraid of something. Hugh, our kind and tender-hearted boy who has had to face so many fears in his young life, can’t quite get over his fear of mascots. Even mention the word and his heart starts racing. His eyes begin to dart around looking for an escape plan. When it comes to mascots with Hugh, there is no fight or flight adrenaline that takes over. It’s simply flight – he will do anything and everything to get away.

Amelia, on the other hand, is bullish and headstrong. Don’t get in her way. (Aren’t all good Southern girls like this?) She doesn’t seem scared of much. I suspect that if she were ever confronted by a mascot, she would ball up her fist and punch it square in the stomach. Mascots, bugs, snakes, monsters – Amelia will take them on. But don’t put her in a crowded room that is chaotic and loud. Crowds are her fear, and she will cling to her daddy’s leg like a little monkey. When put in this situation, she is usually reduced to tears.

Like I said, I guess we’re all afraid of something.

Me? What am I afraid of (besides frogs and ugly shoes, but that’s another story)? I’m afraid of THE NEXT THING.

I’m not really sure what THE NEXT THING will be, but it’s big. It’s like one of those monsters that lived under your bed when you were a kid. It’s hairy, with big green eyes and yellow fangs. THE NEXT THING likes to sneak up on you when you least expect it, taking you by surprise so that you are constantly in fear of it.

THE NEXT THING, to an adult, looks a lot like failing at a new job, losing a loved one too early, cancer, an incurable disease, divorce, house fire – I could go on and on. THE NEXT THING tricks you, because once it happens and you survive the encounter, you tend to wipe your brow and think to yourself, “I’m glad that’s over. Now I can live my life”. But that’s the tricky part, you see. THE NEXT THING isn’t gone, it’s just waiting under your bed for the next attack. That’s why it is so very, very scary.

THE NEXT THING also makes you live with regret. When Hugh was first diagnosed with Type 1, one of the things I regretted was never taking him to the local cupcake store in our town. I had meant to, but I was usually too busy. I would pass by the store and think, “One day I am going to stop and take the kids in for a surprise cupcake.” But I didn’t, and then it was too late. After Hugh’s diagnosis I would pass that store, and I would berate myself for not taking the kids to the cupcake store when I had the chance. I would end up in tears over that cupcake store. Because I thought it was too late. THE NEXT THING had happened, and we had missed the cupcakes.

I’m tired of living scared of THE NEXT THING. I’m tired of saying, “When the kids are older. When we have more money. When we retire. When I go back to work full-time. When we have more space. When the house is clean.” I’m tired of missing the cupcakes.

Scott and I are cautious by nature. We like to plan and save and wait for the right time to do things. And I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I think God requires us to be responsible stewards for what he has given us. We try really hard to do that. But I also think God doesn’t want us to miss the cupcakes.

I’m not sure how to live a life that’s not scared of THE NEXT THING. But I want to try.

I think I will start by taking the kids to get a cupcake.

To Those Who Prayed –

To those who prayed, I would like to say thank you. It seems like a silly thing to say now, 18 months after Hugh’s diagnosis. I should have said it months ago, during those first hard days.

But I couldn’t. I couldn’t say thank you for your prayers because I was harboring a secret. I couldn’t say thank you because I knew that I was not praying myself.

I had no words to pray. I didn’t even try.

It’s something that is hard for me to confess. I should have been talking to God every minute, asking for strength and wisdom and a peace with this diagnosis. But I was not. I was silent.

I just did not know what to say to God. Please heal Hugh? I knew there was no cure for diabetes. And even if Hugh was miraculously cured, what about the other children out there suffering? Was it fair to ask for healing for my son and no one else’s child? Should I ask why God gave this to my son? Even in my darkest hours, I did not believe God gave Hugh diabetes. My heart understands that we live in a world where there is sickness and hurting and sometimes there is no reason for it. Give me back my son the way he was? I knew that life would never be the same.

So I said nothing to God. Every time someone told me they were praying for us or I got a card in the mail telling me the same, I thought, “What’s the point? Praying won’t change anything now.”

I’m sorry for taking your prayers and putting them on a shelf. I’m sorry for discounting the time you spent with our names on your lips. I’m sorry I did not see sooner your prayers for us were carrying us through.

But now I see. Now I see that when we were exhausted and heartbroken and grieving, you were praying. You prayed when I could not. And for that, I will be eternally grateful.

Our burden was heavy, our burden was sad, our burden was hard. And I stumbled under the weight of it all. God did not hear my prayers during that time, but he heard yours.

So to those of you who prayed when I could not, thank you. To the church members in our congregation, in our parents’ congregations, and many other churches – thank you. To the parents of children with T1D who prayed – thank you. To my Grandmother’s exercise class who prayed – thank you. To all of you who murmured Hugh’s name during bedtime prayers with your own children, who whispered his name while driving in your car, who thought of him when you did not even know who he was – thank you.

I like to think that this is how prayer works. That in our times of despair, when we have no words to say, others are taking our place – stepping into our line – taking over our words and our tears and bringing them to God. I like to think that these prayers are even stronger than if we said them ourselves, because they are given when they do not have to be.

I want you to know your prayers were heard. We are doing ok – we are doing more than ok, we are doing great. Life with Type 1 Diabetes will always be hard, but we have so much to be grateful for. Not the least of which is you – those who prayed.

Sally