Don’t Forget That It’s Hard

Don’t forget that it’s hard. 

These words have been on repeat in my head for several months now. 

Don’t forget that it’s hard. 

Honestly, I thought that diabetes would be easier by now. And to be fair – it is in a lot of ways. New technology has given me the gift of sleep, something I realized I hadn’t had in 10 years. And it’s given Hugh independence and freedom – more than I thought possible when he was first diagnosed. 

And yes, diabetic issues are now second nature to us. We don’t even blink when there are low blood sugars or site changes or supply order problems. We live a life with diabetes in the background most days, kind of like that annoying pain in your back or rattle in your car. You simply learn to live with it. 

But just because we have learned to live with Type 1 diabetes doesn’t mean it’s not hard. 

I have to remind myself of that often.

Don’t forget that it’s hard. 

Especially when you are a 15 year old boy who is navigating the choppy waters of high school, where all you want to do is fit in and not have to worry about things like blood sugar and boluses and alarms ringing out throughout the school day. 

Don’t forget that it’s hard. 

New issues have popped up, like going on overnight trips, learning to drive (What do I do if my sugar drops low and I’m driving, Mom???), the inevitable feeling of invincibility that naturally floods a teenagers brain, and yes, the occasional rebellion from it all. 

Don’t forget that it’s hard. 

When I get upset with him, when he lashes out at me, when I just don’t understand why he would ignore his alarms, I whisper these words to myself. Of course he’s going to lash out. Of course he will have times when he burns out with alarms. Of course he’s sick of diabetes. It’s so utterly and unfairly and miserably hard. 

So what should I do? When I open my eyes to recognize the hard he is living? 

The only thing I know how to do. Give him lots of grace. More grace than what I think he deserves sometimes. Pour heaping amounts of love on top of him. Squeeze him tight on those really tough days and whisper to him that he can do hard things and that we will always help him. Tell him that he’s never alone. 

Maybe the hard is a gift – something I don’t like to admit, but that I’m slowly coming to terms with. Maybe the hard is not just something my family has to go through. Maybe everyone has their own hard thing in their own lives. 

Maybe that’s the gift. Recognizing that hard is hard and we all have to live with it. The divorce. The lost child. The cancer. The betrayal. The bankruptcy. The drug addiction. The loneliness. The job loss. 

I look around a crowded room and I realize the hard is all around me. Maybe the gift of my family’s hard is that now I can see it in others. 

So what should I do? When I open my eyes to recognize the hard others are living? 

The only thing I know how to do. Give them lots of grace. More grace than what I think they deserve sometimes. Pour heaping amounts of love on top of them. Squeeze them tight on those really tough days and whisper to them that they can do hard things and that I will help them. Tell them they are never alone. 

Don’t forget that it’s hard. 

On my really bad days, when I get so angry that my son is living with this, when I lash out at my family and curse the D word all over again, I try to remind myself of these words too. 

Don’t forget that it’s hard, Mama. 

Then somehow, in some beautiful way, I am given grace. More grace than what I deserve. Love is poured on top of me and I can feel arms squeezing me tight – arms that I can’t see, but I know are there. I hear a whisper in my heart  that I can do hard things and that He is right there to help me. And I am reminded once again, that  I am never alone – even when it’s hard. 

Share This:

Happy New Year

Dear Friends,

Happy New Year to all of you – near and far and wherever you are.

You may be the type of person who makes resolutions or goals. You may be the type of person who doesn’t believe in that. You may be the type of person who celebrates a New Year with parties and fireworks, or you may be the type of person who chooses to ring in the New Year with a good book and a soft bed.

However you choose to bring in 2024, though, there is one thing I know for sure. Your year is going to be a good one.

This might be the year you get a new job! Or a new house! This might be the year your precious baby is born or you marry the love of your life. This might be the year THE ONE comes into your life and you are forever changed.

This might be the year you finally run that marathon! Or write that book! This might be the year you travel to a new place, earn a raise, get picked for the team, find your forever dog, or meet your best friend. This year will definitely be the year where good things happen in your life. I can guarantee it.

I know what you are thinking. This year might be the year where not-so-good things happen too. And I guess you’re right. This year might be the year of terrible loss for you, a heartbreak, an unbearable pain. This year might be the year that introduces great sadness into your life or something might happen that scares you more than anything else. I’m sad to say that good years often have bad things in them too. And I am so sorry that these things might happen to you.

But even in these awful things, the good will still be there. You know why? Because the good is in you. The good is in others. The good is in the very air we breath.

With every step you take, every inhale and exhale of your lungs, with every heartbeat, the good is there. It’s woven into your DNA. And it’s even in the birds that sing to you every morning. It’s in the trees dropping their leaves and the turtles sunbathing on logs. It’s in the smiles and the hugs and the laughter. The good is everywhere.

I hope you see that this year. I hope that you hear Goodness calling your name. I hope you know that Good always wins over evil.

If I have learned anything in all the New Years that I have lived, it is this – the more I look for the Good, the more I lean into it, the more I walk hand in hand with Goodness – the more I see it covering all of us. And it will follow us all the days of our lives.

Happy New Year – it’s going to be a good one.

Share This:

A Beginning of School Letter to My Kids

Dear Kids, 

Well here we are again. Another beginning of school. Another stressful few weeks of trying to figure out new schedules, new routines, new friends. Another season of firsts. 

It seems like these beginnings come faster and faster each year – one day when you have children of your own, you will understand. 

And because I can’t slow down time – no matter how hard I try – the next best thing I can give you is this – a letter reminding you to look for the fingerprints. 

You see, as you enter into this new phase of junior high and high school, those fingerprints become harder to find. I’m not sure why, but it probably has something to do with the world telling you to be the best, to never slow down, to roar and fight and conquer all. And because the world seems so loud and chaotic and consuming these days, we start to forget to look for the fingerprints. 

I know that as you go into this year, there will be so many wonderful things that happen. You will make some great friends. You will have fantastic teachers. You will climb mountains. 

But I also know that sometimes not so great things will happen too. You might get hurt by a friend. You may have a teacher who you don’t get along with. You will find yourself in valleys, I’m afraid. 

And that is when you must look for the fingerprints – On the days when you are walking through the valley. 

I promise you the fingerprints will still be there – they are everywhere really. But as we get older we quit looking for them. 

So kids, this letter is to remind you to never stop looking for them. Not when you’re 14 or 44 or 84. 

Seeing the fingerprints is what will save you. 

Where can you find them? And how do you see them? Well I’m not exactly sure how to explain it, but I can tell you that when you see them, you will know. 

When you sit next to a new kid at lunch because he’s eating all alone, and you don’t say much, but you give him a smile – there’s a fingerprint. 

When you see your teacher is having a bad day and you decide to not go along with the class joke of making fun of her, but instead you help her pick up papers – there’s a fingerprint. 

When you give up your seat on the bus for a kid who is struggling to walk – there’s a fingerprint. 

You see, we all have these fingerprints on our lives – we are covered in them. And they are fingerprints from something so GOOD and KIND that we never can get rid of them. And believe me, some people will try. Some people do some pretty awful things to erase the fingerprints, but they never can. 

Because those fingerprints are so full of LOVE that we will never be able to wipe them away.

And those fingerprints come from hands that will never lose us or let us go. 

Everyone has the fingerprints on them  – that’s what I want you to remember. Yes, even that kid who’s so mean to you he makes you cry. Even that homeless man you pass by every day on the street on your way to school. Even that teacher who gave you the worst grade you’ve ever made. They are covered in the fingerprints too.

Do you see them? 

I hope so. Because as long as you see them, you will be just fine. 

Have a great year. 

Love, Mom

Share This:

« Older posts